The Truth About Men

1.The nice men are ugly.
2.The handsome men are not nice.
3.The handsome and nice men are gay
4.The handsome nice ,and hetrosexual men,are married.
5.The men are not so handsome ,but nice ,have no money .
6.The men who are not so handsome ,but are nice ,with money think we are only about their money .
7.The handsome man without money are after our money .
8.The handsome men ,who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, dont think we are beautiful enough ...
9.The men who are some what handsome somewhat nice,and have some money and thanks God are heterosexual,are shy ...... AND NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
10.The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative..

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

How to select clothes

http://www.thirdage.com/news/archive/030116-01.html

Selecting Clothes to Try On
When choosing clothes to try on, ask yourself the following questions:

• Is this item on my priority list?
• Does this item suit my taste?
• Does it suit my budget?
• Is this the best quality I can afford?
• Do I like the feel of the fabric?
• Even though I like this color, does it truly flatter me?
• Is this really the right size for me or am I trying to fit into a number?
  
  Then, once you're in the fitting room, ask yourself these questions:
• How does this garment look from the back?
• How does my profile look?
• Can I move freely? Sit, squat, lift up hands
• Do I need to step out and see this in a better light?
• Do I feel secure and confident in this garment?
• Would this garment be a loner, or would it work easily with my other clothes?

The Oranje Team

My life has never been the same
After I came to know the Beautiful Game
June came and the World Cup began
There was never a boring night again

Fate had it that I'd fall for the Dutch
I have never met with a great team as such
They are one of the few teams which
Can create magic on the pitch

Those 22 men in orange
Came together as one and fought with courage
Showing us attractive and winning football
They are indeed the best of all

Protecting the goal is Edwin Van Der Saar
He is so tall, he almost reaches the bar
And our dear captain, Frank de Boer
Solid in defence, strong in character

In for defence is Jaap Stam
Stopping approaching strikers as they come
Arthur Numan is another world class defender
With vast experience and tremendous strength what a player

Ever so versatile are Philip Cocu and Ronald de Boer
They can create, they can score
Saved were their penalties against Brazil
We don't care, we love them still

Dominating the midfield are Edgar Davids and Clarence Seedorf
With excellent skills, they make oppositions back off
They communicate well and call the shots
They are masterminds behind the attacking plots

Dennis Bergkamp is better than they say
Talented players like him are rare
With vision and power, he plays with flair
Scoring unstoppable goals, defenders can only stare

Marc Overmars is electrifying on the left wing
He is deadly as he has speed of lightning
Together with Bergkamp and Kluivert the King
The trio gets the game going

The Oranje Team will be back as far as you and I are concerned
With established players and young ones like Boudewijn Zenden
Coupled with hopefuls like Jordi Cruyff
Towards success they will strive

Holland doesn't stand a chance you might think
But with charismatic players and great coaches like Guus Hiddink
Not forgetting the wonderful supporters
They might be able to lift the next Cup, I gather

by Lee Mun Ee
Ipoh
World Cup France '98
(This poem is dedicated to all Holland players and supporters, whereever you are. Keep the Dream alive!)

Driving to Penang

leave Ulu Pandan at 4.15am , reach Tuas checkpoint at 4.40am

Air Keroh exit

Nilai exit

Exit 214 KLIA, Serdang, Ipoh

====================================
[return]
7am leave Penang
10.30am Sg Buloh Jejantas
exit KLIA

Johor Bahru

exit 253 Tuas

Engineers and Light bulbs

• How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
  -> None. That's a second year subject
• How many 2nd year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
  -> One, but the rest of the class copies the report
• How many 3rd year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
  -> "Will this question be in the final examination?"
• How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
  -> Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier
• How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
  -> None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard
• How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
  "Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in 6 months anyway"
• How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
  -> Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable - but functional - handgrip, and one to use all this equipment

Top Ten Reasons for you to Date and Marry an Engineer

10. They are used to all nighters
9. You get to learn what all those buttons on your calculator are for
8. They are always willing to experiment
7. They know how to decrease and increase friction
6. The world does not revolve around us. We choose the coordinate system
5. Engineers have significant figures
4. No "couple" could enjoy a better "moment"
3. They know how to deal with stress and strain in a relationship
2. They know how to test their rigid cantilevers
1. They design and build larger erections

For more:
http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/Engineer.html